Winning...really

So as I have said, I don't know what I'm doing with this or who is reading it. Anyway, I think that it is time I begin to do with this what many people do with their blogs. Write about my life and any thoughts I may have in the most pompous pretentious way possible. Here goes.

They always teach you that winning is something you want. Winning can help you achieve, can help you along in life. You get honor and prestige, maybe money or some other material thing. It's nice for awhile. It's nice until you lose. I pose a question:

Is it better to win or to not win?

The answer is obviously different to everyone, but personally I would rather not. Well, that depends. The lottery yes, of course. A raffle or random drawing? Sure. Something that I have invested personal interest in? Nope.

That sounds stupid and bitchy (I bet this whole thing does) but hear me out (and keep in mind I am going through a bit of a rough time with this): When you never win you don't get used to winning. You don't have the pressure to continue to excel because you have not been recognized. You do not get the stress which comes from that pressure. You don't have to stand by and watch yourself get stripped of your title, because you never had a title! You can do what you do as best as you can, doing what you want, and you learn to do it for you. You don't do it for the judge or the clock. You do it for YOU.

Yeah. Maybe some people can keep themselves after a winning streak. If you are one of those people I'd love to take lessons from you. I certainly can't. I thought I could, but it was always at the back of my mind. Maybe I'm crazy. I don't know. I could just be disappointed in myself because I have a had a fall from grace and it was not very graceful.

Ok, that's definitely it. But I still want to know. If anyone reads this, do they think I'm petty? Illogical? Honest?